It had now been 4 months in the Academy for her….and she had completely ‘reversed metamorphosed’ from an elegant, delicate and pretty girl to an edgy, brash, near boy- looking person.

The first casualty was her Hair. She had cropped it short in the 2^nd week of the training cos she had realized how important a few winks of extra sleep were. You may ask how does sleep correlate to hair. It does….big time in the Academy…specially when you have longer hair and you have to get up 15 mins early to make the ‘figure of 8’ and put 10000 clips in your hair so that not even a strand comes out of your head-gear. Hmmm….she could not compromise on the few minute of extra sleep, so she went to the Academy ‘Nai’ (Barber), steeled herself and told him to razor it off! He happily did what she asked. When she opened her eyes and saw the finished product , the face staring back at her was definitely not hers!! It belonged to some 7^th grade boy !!! I think that night she cried.

The second casualty was her Vanity. She soon realized that there was no avoiding the Sun and no amount of sun screen would protect her skin from tanning and freckles and future wrinkles. So she promptly chucked her sun screen in the bin and moved out wherever was required without any face protection. As the days went by the 7^th grade boy started looking darker and darker and darker…and finally she stopped looking in the mirror. She realized 5 mins infront of the mirror combing her hair and applying face cream were 5 mins wasted….she could sleep for that period. So everyday after getting 15 + 5 mins of extra sleep, she would get up , freshen up, change into the required gear , and rush for breakfast…simultaneously smoothening down her 1 inch hair with her fingers.

The third casualty was her Pride. The GC’s , the ‘Ustaads’ and the DS (Directing Staff) made sure that you didn’t have a shred of pride left in any fibre of your body once they were finished with you. How did they achieve this? A crazy thing called ‘Punishment’, which was given out liberally for any act done……sometimes as simple as a few specks of dust on your shoe, or an improper knot of the tie, or the crease of the pant not being ‘razor sharp’. She (and others of her kind) used to steel themselves when they stepped out of the protective shelter of their barracks…..because by the time you reached the Mess (which was a mere 500 ft away) , you could be subjected to innumerable punishments by innumerable ‘benefactors’….as a result of which that meal of the day would have to be sacrificed for you could NOT afford to be late for the class scheduled thereafter (God save you if you were!). Even the ‘Ustads’ (instructors from the ranks ) were no less . She can never forget the 6ft 5 inches tall Haryanvi Jat Ustad….who was a terror to all GC’s and LC’s alike. Never had anyone seen him smile. One of his favorite ‘punishments’ on the drill square ….if you happened to even smile……was to thrust the round of his baton into your mouth and make you run around the drill square. Or if the smile had been broader, he would thrust the SLR Magazine into your mouth (imagine that!)and make you run around till he was satisfied that you were serious enough to join back in the Drill practice. She was saved this humiliation cos she could never get herself to smile in his presence………how could you smile when ‘Death’ stared you in the face?! Another popular form of ‘Punishment’ which seemed a favorite with all life forms in the Academy was the P-Hill. God….only if that mistake of nature had not been there she (and her kind) would have been saved such torturous-long-endless hours of third degree!! The P-Hill (Punishment Hill) was placed right in the middle of the Academy by Gaia (Goddess of Earth) herself it seems…..wicked Gods and their wicked humor! Innumerable times, this tender flock of the scared 64 was led there and commands hurled at them “ LC’s up the P-Hill and back in 5 mins!!” Mistake not, it was a huge rocky hill and she and her kind had to scram up…. slipping, falling, getting bruised…touch the top and then run back . The running back was riskier because of the loose rocks , pebbles and stones on the hill, as these would roll under one’s feet, ensuring that that poor LC landed on her nose somewhere close to the bottom of the hill…get up, dust herself and run the remaining few feet to be declared the first returnee!! It would be a feat and a saving grace…cos that particular LC would not have to run up the ominous P Hill again, whereas her counterparts would have to do so again and again and again and …..yet again for returning ‘late’.

The fourth casualty was her Sense of Propriety. Abuses were a thing of common parlance. The first time she heard someone using the ‘F’ word in addressing the female gender…..she thot she had misheard. But when the same word was repeated 5 times in one sentence….there was no room left for doubt. “Who the ‘F’ do you ‘F’ing LCs think you are…the ‘F’ing Queen of ‘Mother ‘F’ing country called ‘F’ing England??” Did he just say all THAT to us???? She remembers all 64 of them standing there with gaping jaws. “What the ‘F’ are you all ‘F’ing gaping at me for”. Clam Shut….you could hear the Clam!! Hadn’t her dad told her that Gentlemen never abused infront of women? And here were all these ‘Gentlemen’ abusing women on their faces with such unpardonable language!! What world was this? Obviously, as the months went by, her vocabulary also got enhanced and the usage of such words (Fu2k, screw, MC, BC, C, etc etc) became a part of her daily routine. Welcome to the Academy.

The fifth casualty was her Gender Myths. She was small and petite and was sure that they would not expect her to do things like a 14 km route march with 20 kgs of load on her back! Well, they expected it and they made her do this and more. She quickly realized that no matter how frail she was, she had to complete the tasks as well as the other person. Initially, even walking in the DMS boots (weighing 2 kgs) was a nightmare……but she soon learned it was part of her daily gear ….add to that the combats, the belt and the rifle!! Breathe baby, breathe. Worst was when they had the Weapon Training classes and had to wear the darned helmets also…….these were invariable 3 sizes bigger than her head and kept falling on her eyes every time she tried to aim at the target! Result….the bullets would never hit her target but her neighbors, and sure enough another round of ‘Punishments’ would start, in the heavy weaponry gear! It never ended…..just got better with each day of training.

Even now, she sits back and thinks “ How the hell did I manage to do all that craziness and get Commissioned?” Well, the key lay in mentally switching off and doing what she was told. The power of reasoning no longer existed….becos the more anyone tried to reason, the more expeditions up the P Hill were scheduled! The body just became a receiver of commands….and obeyed whatever was barked at it.

What days! Its funny, that even now when she thinks about those days…..there are twin simultaneous reactions. One, a smile comes to her face and the other, a shudder goes down her spine.

Jab 'WE' met

Just two days into the OTA and things were pretty chilled. This is a piece of cake, she thought. There were these weird looking dark guys (GC’s ) staring at her all the time.She was used to men staring at her but there
was something different in the way these guys stared….it bordered on curiosity….sometimes contempt and sometimes outright gaping!

The GC’s had just come back from some ass-whacking camp…totally frustrated and pissed with life. She was not aware of that and after a hearty breakfast on a Sunday afternoon, she crossed the anteroom and came out in
the veranda of the Mess. Two large mirrors were placed there and being a girl she was magnetically drawn to them. She adjusted her hair, checked her new mufti's out, swirled around and started sashaying down the steps, totally oblivious to the fact that he was noticing her all this while. He didn’t like this breed of females called ‘LC’ (Lady Cadet)……and he displayed this emotion in no uncertain terms. “LC” he shouted and she
looked at him sideways and said “Me?”. He beckoned to her with a finger…."how rude” she thought…but walked upto him. “Were u standing there and looking in the mirror? Do u think u are a model?” ( What’s he talking
about?) she cocked her head and said aloud “ Aren’t the mirrors placed so that u can see yourself?” That was enough to trigger him off! He gave her a monologue about how he and his kind had to be addressed as ‘Sir’,
about the rules of the Academy, about blah , blah and blah. When he saw that she was still apathetic as before with an attitude on her sleeve he completely took it upon himself to sort her out. “ Go touch that tree and
come back!”. She sashayed to the tree, touched it and sashayed back. He was dumbfounded! What the f@*k????? “ LC you have to RUN, not walk when I tell you to touch a tree! Go back again and be back in 10 secs” It was her moment to be dumbfounded (what the F@*k????). She looked around for help…but there was none. She saw her kind being subjected to similar punishments by his kind. This was mad!


So that was the first day they met…..


All through her 6 months in Academy she was one of the prime targets for most GCs……but she always remembered ‘him’ as he was the first to subject her to this horrible thing called ‘punishment’. And he always remembered her cos he could not get over the fact as to how many ‘doubts’ could a single person show.


Little did they know…that God with His funny – mysterious - crazy ways was planning for them to fall in love and get married. 8 years down the line she looks back and wonders at the turns that life has taken. A curved,
unending, uphill – downhill road….sometimes broad and sheltered with beautiful big trees…..sometimes skiddy and treacherous. She doesn’t know (and nor does he) where they are headed…..but they are thankful for the good years spent together and the child that they got as a gift of their togetherness. Yes, 'WE' are thankful for that.

Another year of my life draws to a close....but this year was different for so many reasons. I want to acknowledge a few friends who accompanied me on this year's journey :

Deepika - Constantly there. I just need to pick the phone and call her....and she will be there by my side. Thanks girl. I think 2010 sealed our f'ship for life.

Sunny - My friend for the last 10 years! One of the few people who shows me the mirror as it is....with the huge risk of getting lynched! But he still does it fearlessly. He is a selfless, all-giving dude. I have to yet come across someone with a heart as big as his. The turning point of 2010 was that he and Abhijit also established an unbreakable bond...after 10 years of 'hating' each other! Cheers to your f'ship guys!

Mas - My sweetheart! If I would have just been a little taller........no, a lot taller.......:). But on a serious note, I love him because he is so grounded, so full of life and so enthusiastic!The first time I saw him interacting with Kavin, I was stunned. I never knew that this giant of a man could be so tender, loving and tolerant towards a brat like Kavin. I can also never forget the way he participated in the Reunion Planning...from all the way across the globe! He rocks!!

Divi & Pankaj - An awesome couple. They balance each other....and tho I can say a lot of good things about them....but I wont. Why? Cos I dont want to jinx these two beautiful ppl in any which way. Just stay the same guys.

Uday Pal - We met for the first time in 2000. And since then have met him on and off. But the seal was put this year.....in Goa. I can never forget that night outside Tito's, when Uday stood with me on the beach and listened patiently to the ramblings of a a very drunk woman (me!). I went on and on and on.....and Uday forfeited the party and the crowd of Tito's and endearingly lent me his ear. He did this for the whole trip and still continues to do so. Muah, to you Uday!

Rupi - Tho i met her briefly, but I think she is a great gal. Considerate, caring and non-judgemental. Keep it up gal. U are a fighter and u will emerge!

Family is something which we dont chose.....its destiny. But friends are where we have a choice and I am proud I have you guys in my life.

New Year....here u are....again!

So whats so great about the New Year approaching? It comes every year...it is freaking repetitive. But we still celebrate it, and welcome it with bigger and better parties each year! Why? Why this maddening elation over something which is here every year?

I recently realized that for every New Year that we welcome...there is an old one which goes away....taking with it 365 days of our lived lives. And the coming unknown 365 days await us......with God knows what in store for us!!

I know I sound a wee bit pessimistic over here but the truth is :

- every new year makes us a bit older,

- every new year bring uncertainties

- every new year the path of our life changes from what we had not planned it to be

- every new year our children grow up a little more....with 'life' getting ready to ambush them with heart breaks, disillusionment, hard realities.....

- every new year one realizes the futility of some cherished dreams and strikes them off their list

New Year Sucks!

Now, that I have completely depressed you, let me highlight certain positives also....like they say 'every coin has a flip side' :

- every new year brings with it hope and new dreams

- every new year makes us more resilient to fight new battles

- every new year does see some of our dreams fulfilled

- and every new year sees our children become stronger, confident and blossom into amazing personalities.

Maybe New Year doesn't suck as much!

Goa - Part 2

Continuing from where we left off last time......Goa , Goa and more Goa!!!

A person I forgot to mention in my last entry (how could I?) is and extremely close and dear friend...Alwin Anthony!!

Our association with Alwin started in 2007, when he was a complete drunk working for ICICI Bank and Aby and I were on the family way. The common ground of interest were 'sleepless nights'. I could not sleep because of the uneasiness of being 5 months pregnant, Aby could not sleep becos he had to hear to my unending woes....and Alwin could not sleep becos he was in Collections!! So we used to have unhourly visits from Alwin and used to look forward to these.....as Aby got a drinking partner and I now had four ears listening to my laments, instead of two (he! he!).

The greatest thing about these midnight visits was that Alwin used to enter our house past midnight, completely inebriated and used to leave in the wee hours of the morning more drunk (if that was even possible!!).....with a glass of rum in his hand (for the road). We used to talk, share , laugh and completely bond. It was a wholesome foursome!! Oh! I didnt tell u about the 4th member of the group....it was Pheona! Our white labrador ....who was completely besotted by Alwin and used to sit right next to him, with her head on his lap and fully participate in our conversations with her soulful eyes!!

When Aby and I went to Pune last year we stayed at Alwin's house and he granted us the grand privilege of driving his Honda City (he is more possessive about her than he is about his wife!!)....

And then Goa came....and Alwin came. I am a very private person (except ofcourse when I am drunk)....and seeing Alwin made my heart glow. I rushed to him and hugged him...and he was sweetly embarrassed. The first day of our Reunion, my poor friend broke his nose.....as all the other hooligans decided to jump on each other and sadly he was at the bottom. But my spirited friend was there for all three days....participated in all events and found time to compliment me and lecture me and guide me too.

YOU ROCK, DUDE!!

Reunion at Goa!

I dont know how or when the seed for the '10th Reunion ' was sowed. There were murmurs in the air but I didnt heed them becos I had seen such big scale planning die its own death.....becos noone takes the initiative nor the onus. But things turned out to be different this time.....the initiative was taken by Amrit and he was vociferously supported by Manmeet and Sunny. I still kept a low profile. Then one day, on chat, Amrit asked me to be a part of the Coordinatine Core Group. I was touched by his confidence and happily said ' Sure'. Things started from there for me.....planning the events, the themes, the games, the fun! I had ideas galore...but only 3 days in hand. Still I wanted to build in as fun as possible. But little did I realise then that coursemates meeting after 10 years is more fun than u can handle! Its Mind Blowing.

I can never forget the welcome we got when we landed at the 'O' Hotel. Sunny was standing there.....totally sloshed with a wide grin on his face, and there were cameras everywhere...clicking us and recording us. Two musicians were playing the guitar and singing Goan number.....and then down the hallway......coursemates came running and started hugging the ones who had just arrived. It was nostalgic. We sat at the bar...chatted and drank the 'welcome cocktails' (mandatory for all!!). 'O' was beautiful.....open....airy and had a fresh feel to it. Our rooms were right next to the pool and the pool was right next to the beach....total bliss!! Bus uske baad kya tha....one event after another....one party after another....one crazy evening followed by another.

Everyone was smiling and happy, but the people who left certain impressions on me were :

Amrit: The unofficial photographer. Captured every moment and uploaded it on FB instantly. All our coursemates, who could not attend the Reunion would wait eagerlyfor his next update.

Sunny : On a constant high (except when the doc told him that he has stop drinking completely.) Well, he listened to her and didnt drink for full 24 hrs!! Quite an achievement for him :). But I noticed how this person had matured over the years.....for instance, there was one instance when I completely lost it on one of the coursemates (reason and name confidential), but he calmly told me that such episodes need to be overlooked as it takes all kinds of fish to make a pond, and we shud not mar the memory of this successful event by any confrontations. Sunny, my dear friend, I was very proud of you at that moment.

Smitha : Totally sporting and spirited. Her black tees were a rage. I think Amit Bansal wore it for 3 continuous days!!

Bhavna : As smiling and as WOW as ever. Even in the Academy, she was someone I was in total awe of....becos of her contained beh under the most adverse circumstances. While all of us would be losing it and resorting to unbecoming beh....she would be the only one who would be composed and smiling and still be full of positive energy. Awesome girl!!

Divi : My dearest friend Divi. The flashes I have of her are of trying to steal some precious moments with Pankaj inspite of the constant demands of a 4 year old Yudi.....and some times 3 year old Kavin too!! When Yudi was around, one of them would be taking care of him but the moment he slept....the two rushed to enjoy some moments of togetherness (as there was no gaurantee when Yudi would wake up!!)

DiDi : Met him for the first time.....but liked him instantly. Totally fun loving and spirited guy. I will always remember the wee hours of 02 Sept (after the party had finished) and we were still sitting there singing songs till o400 hrs. DiDi then did his 'Dev Anand' act followed by 'Sunil Shetty', 'Amitabh Bachhan' .....and 'Dharmender'. It was hilarious.....we kept screaming 'once more', but then Superstars never do a repeat performance. He said he would do it again at the next Reunion! So waiting with baited breath.....:)

Words cannot describe these last four days. My vocab is limited and it cannot do justice to what the experiences of these last four days were. Joyous ..... exhilirating..... nostalgic..... emotional...... fun....... beautiful......and HISTORIC!! Each one of us created an album full of memories.....each one of us went back with a heavy heart.....each one of us vowed to be a part of it again next year!!

This little boy is mine.....

He is blooming everyday....like a flower opening its petals right before my eyes. With each day he becomes more perceptive, more intelligent and more hungry to learn . For a child , who is not even 3 years old, he has an amazing vocabulary, speaks in complete sentences and can suck your brains out with his unending queries!! I know, all of you are patronizingly smiling at me and thinking 'another doting mom' and I would've agreed with you and smiled sheepishly...... had it not been for the elders around me (who have already seen numerous other kids grow in the family ) and who stare agape at Kavin when he speaks. They are stunned and awed at his sharpness, grasping power and IQ level (definitely not my contribution). He knows that 'eddison uncle' created electricity, he knows 'Bell uncle' created the telephone, he knows his alphabets (A-Z), his nursery rhymes ( more than 20), he knows all shapes (square, diamond, rectangle, semi-circle etc etc) and sizes and more than anything else he knows how to get away with anything just by flashing his buck-tooth smile!! Total charmer !!!

When I get tired of attacking him with my kisses (which is never!), I take time out to wonder about the miracle of life. This lil boy.....with such tiny hands and tiny feet....with such innocent eyes and soulful smile....with an ego, double his size.....with an attitude that would put his favourite Jungle Book character, Sher Khan, to shame....is my creation (ofcourse with a lil help from Aby.....and... er.....God!). :) :) This lil boy......who clings to me like a monkey, who rushes to me with all his complaints.....who exitedly narrates to me his unending tales of everday adventure.....who looks in my eyes and says 'Maama I love you'.....who calls out my name in his sleep........and who touches my soul everytime , with every little act of his.....this lil boy is mine.

All this time while I have been gloating over the things that I have taught him , I have realised that its actually he who has been giving me the larger lessons of life. He has taught me to love and relish and live. Its because of him that I experience a myriad of emotions in a day ranging from happiness to excitement to concern to fear. I wonder if such oscillations of emotions are good for my ageing heart?

Oh, btw, did I brag about the fact that he can log in to his nana's computer, open & close the desired windows and access his Nursery Rhymes folder from the desktop? Eat that!! :) :)